You can wrestle with God – But you won’t win!
Do you ever get that light bulb moment when something you misunderstood finally makes sense? Like realizing the offside rule doesn’t mean the ball has gone off the side of the pitch? (I’ve a limited knowledge of football – I can’t be the only one!) Or discovering a new function on your phone that makes life a million times easier?
Friend: ‘So, I’ll see you at church on Sunday?’
Me: ‘Umm.. actually, no, you won’t’
I made a pretty huge decision recently. It’s been one I’ve been thinking over for a while. Do you ever get that unsettled feeling that you’re not in the right place doing the right thing? Continue reading
Matthew 17:20 says this, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
This verse comes directly from the mouth of Jesus and when we believe in his word as true and living, and relevant for today we can stand on this promise and see it come true for ourselves. Can’t we?
Having a blog is a funny thing, especially for me. I’m very inconsistent as you can tell! For someone who has had a journal pretty much her entire life I can say i’m just as inconsistent with them too. As I grow it seems that the times I have most to say are the times when I’m not at home. Let’s face it you heard a lot from me when I was in Africa but pretty much zilch since I got home. My apologies. Honestly I think it’s just the way i’m wired.
It’s taken a lot to settle back into life here in UK. More than I realised. These past five months I’ve spent a lot of time, way too much time, sitting on metaphorical fences waiting for the next big adventure. I’ve been afraid to commit to too many things, convinced that I won’t be around long enough to be complete anything I start. The only thing I can compare it to is that feeling when you’re sat in the No-mans land of the airport, the bit between check-in and waiting to get on a plane.
Learning to serve whilst you’re in the ‘waiting room’ is hard. My waiting room times have always been between travel destinations. When I finished uni I went straight to Nepal, I broke up the years with summer and Christmas trips to Brazil, never truly happy until my next adventure was booked and on the horizon.
The most difficult, and amazing times however have been in the waiting. Last years story proved that. Those moments where you piece together what God is trying to communicate, the times when you have to force your fingers out of your ears and face the reality, adventure, fear, test of faith that lies ahead. Having a travelers heart is a great thing, having itchy feet constantly is frustrating, never feeling you have true roots takes it’s toll, having friends all over the world means you are always missing someone. But, I wouldn’t trade my life. I just have to learn to constantly adapt and move with the waves.
God gave me a picture a couple of weeks ago that quelled the fear inside of me and gave me a peace about the waiting. When I arrived home this time the one thing on my mind was travelling again, my favourite line when people asked me about my future travel plans became ‘I’m waiting on what God wants next’
The one thing I want most in the world is to be in the right place for God and to know it. If I’m totally honest with you I was scared when I got home this time, scared to get involved with all of the things I had been involved in before I went away. Scared that I wouldn’t be called abroad again. In my head I wanted to stay hands off in everything so if and when God called me to go then I wouldn’t be attached to anything, I could just go. The longer I’ve been home the more I’ve gradually got back involved with things in church, with work, with life in general. The more I did, the more I got this sinking feeling that maybe I would actually suffocate under the weight of everything.
The picture I got was this:
A flag, anchored in the ground, the hand of God around the base of it. The flag pole was my sending church, my home, the place where when I got home I physically sighed and felt emotional that I was back in the place where I connected with my God on another level. The flag was me, attached loop by loop to the pole of support. The flag was flapping about in the wind as if to say, you may be here, you may be attached to the flag but you can still fly. You can still travel and have adventures in the wind. I felt awash with peace at this, knowing that I could be in the place God called me to be wherever in the world I was but just because I was attached to home didn’t mean I wasn’t doing what God called me to do. I just had to get out of the mind set that I was only useful on the ‘mission field’ and in fact my mission field was the whole world, including home.
Sometimes we need reminding of the obvious things. So yes, I am in the waiting room, I want to get back on another plane and head for a new horizon, but all in His timing. Right now I’m chilling in the waiting room, but the waiting room is a mission field too, even if my feet are on the ground, there’s still work to be done.
Hey hey!
So I’m home! Sorry for the radio silence, it’s been an interesting journey getting home. Starting with an epic surprise for mum who had no idea I would be travelling home two days early!
This week at church I got to feedback a little of what happened in Nigeria, here’s just a small something of what I got up to.. There are so many things missing from this little video so if you’re not in it, please remember that I truly cherish you and have been so blessed by your love and support! Xx
Hello Beautifuls!
It’s Christmas!! Wishing all of you a richly blessed day! I hope that it’s filled with family and friends! Don’t forget the reason for the season! Take a little time to thank God for Jesus, the reason we’re all here!
Love you guys!
Thinking of you all!
Not long until I see you!
Much love … C x
I’m nearly home! Not long now lovelies! Please pray as I pack, prepare and get ready for leaving!
Prayers, wishes and thoughts appreciated for:
– The physical journey ahead, the drive and flights etc!
– The mental journey ahead, leaving the project, students and friends
– Coming home, pray for my reverse culture shock, settling back home
– For patient friends! That you won’t get fed-up of all my Nigeria talk and I’ll find a way to share everything with you!
– The project, the new people arriving in Nigeria and those who will continue the journey.
Praying for you guys! See you all soon! Much love… C x
It’s my birthday! What a memorable way to spend my 28th! Sending love and wishes to all my family at home!
Prayers, wishes and thoughts appreciated for:
– Please continue to pray for the project and all of the children and young people associated.
– In the run up to Christmas things often get busy and hectic, please pray for the tutors and staff at Open Doors, pray they will be refreshed over the Christmas break.
– Pray that each of our students will have a safe, blessed and truly Happy Christmas
– In the light of recent events in Jos and across the country please pray for peace in Nigeria, pray for the families that have lost loved ones and for the leaders of this nation. Pray that they will have wisdom in the coming days.
I pray that you have a truly awesome fun-filled day! Have a slice of cake for me! (send me a picture too if poss that’d be awesome!!) Much love … C x
I’ve just over a month left here in Jos! How fast is this time flying?!
Prayers, thoughts and wishes appreciated for:
– The project, that we can continue to provide amazing education for these phenomenal students
– As I prepare in the coming weeks to come home that I will be ready
– That God would continue to use me in Nigeria right up until the last minute
– That even though I’m in the midst of this amazing adventure, pray for the what next?
I pray that you continue to follow your dreams, however big they are believe that they are possible with the guidance of our creator. Stop waiting, making excuses and thinking your dream is impossible… it’s possible.. get on it! Much love C x
A couple of weeks ago my LBC family witnessed something quite strange at church. To their disbelief my double appeared wandering down the aisle singing her head off and wearing my clothes! No, I didn’t fly home for the weekend! What happened instead was something completely incredible.
My mum, dressed as me, delivered a kids talk that inspired our children to pray for a child of a similar age to some of them. It started with a simple idea, what if we all said a prayer as we brushed our teeth? What if we all prayed for the same thing?
What if we all prayed that Praise could walk?
I know you are praying, I’ve seen it! No I haven’t been hiding behind your shower curtains and listening to you brush your teeth and pray, that would be far too hazardous and not even my ninja powers stretch to that kind of commitment. I know you are praying because I see everyday an improvement in Praise.
Back in September I sat and watched amazed as a wobbly Praise tottered along, knuckles white as he held onto the bars in physio and practiced. Over the weeks he carried on the same, getting a little more confident and every now and again showing off. I watched as his buddy, also named Praise did the same, she shuffled along step by step and gradually has become more steady on her feet. I’ve seen them encourage one another with hi fives and count each other’s steps.
Last week suddenly we noticed some pretty amazing changes. Praise boy began getting steadier and steadier until this week he came in wearing shoes! He was so proud that he had shoes on his feet that he wanted to show everyone. We walked from office to office so staff could admire them. We took steady steps as he held on to both of my hands.
Yesterday we took a risk and I let go of one of his hands and said ‘let’s go for one hand.’ One step, two, three, four, five!! We counted together, we had walked side by side with me holding one hand! Major milestone!
Today we left Physio hand in hand, we wobbled and balanced but managed around 50 steps from the physio room, to see the head teacher and to the classroom, he only held one of my hands and even when I offered the other he was determined not to take it!
KEEP PRAYING! This little boy is desperate to be up playing on the field with the other bigger boys, chasing a football, playing on the swings and doing even basic things we take for granted. He is so nearly there!!
Prayer + determination = awesome progress!
Thanks so much LBC kids and all those praying for Praise!
This is Praise in his new shoes!
– please pray for both Praise and Praise as they continue to encourage each other.
This is Praise girl strutting her stuff in Physio
Trust without borders 